NEW INSIGHT TOWARDS GOD

     One day, a girl found herself confined to a white square room, entangled with IV drips on the back of her hand. The girl’s days full of happiness abruptly stopped, and she became unable to eat, sleep, and even walk due to physical weakness, being hospitalized for the first time in her life. This girl had been busy all her life, studying and competing in competitions. Such a purposeless hospital life therefore seemed very strange to her, and the emptiness that came from doing nothing was so stressful that she felt the futility of being. On Sunday morning, when the sun shone, a man left a piece of paper on her desk with the hospital church schedule. The crooked letters written on this single piece of paper were a great opportunity to change her.

     Having lived a busy life without observing the Sabbath, I realized that I had been neglecting my relationship with God. I began to listen to the hymns instead of wandering around, and spent time thinking deeply about what God had given me. The book ‘The Purpose Driven Life' served as a stimulus to increase my interaction with God and allowed me to think about myself. Then, I wrote the following prayer, and read it in my mind before every meal, praying earnestly so that I could find my direction in life.

Dear God, 

I’ve fallen short from your glory, but I know that you have never departed, and that you are right here by my side. Fill my heart with your love, take away my worries, cleanse me, and make me whole to overcome the doubts, emptiness, and sadness in my soul. Allow me to have the wisdom to overcome these hardships I am going through. I pray that you, who loves me most, will ease and cure my sins at the right time. Thank you for still bestowing your blessings upon me. Amen.

     Over time I found myself changing. I thought nothing had changed much, but my values began to fill with love and hope. I was deeply concerned about the idea of being obedient and living by God. I started to speak about my own happiness and the happiness of people around me. My self-hatred vanished through my unremitting efforts to escape darkness. My stress seemed to be getting better. My self-abuse began to diminish. By focusing on God, I gained strength and courage to endure such loneliness and blankness. Still today, I pray to God, for I can use my tongue to speak of hope and faith. I still feel thankful to the man who handed me a single piece of paper that made my whole life change. Amen.